Monday, September 25, 2006

moving on

Dear Journal:

Is been a while since my last entry, I know that no one reads this journal, as I mention before I am still working on my autobiography and I am hoping for this story to help people all around the world, I am a survivor and I am still trying to survive I am meeting new people and feel a lot better than i did in the past journals, is there still fear in my heart? the answer is sometimes, and i will explain; it is true I am free from my abuser but the scars the internal scars are still open, I can't take the pain that I hold in my heart and I am trying really hard not to feel like this but it is hard. I can tell you this the kids are happy and that is enough for me right about now, I do want to move on with my life, the only problem is that he is still out there and i am afraid that one day I find my self face to face with him again, and then maybe I will know how strong I have become, I feel that I am but I will never know really if I am just afraid because of the old memories and because he has not been around, what will happen if we stand in front of each other, i do know this I am not going to allow him to put his hands on me ever again.  until next time I am still praying for full freedom.